Here Comes A Lullaby
by SlytherinLove30
Summary: One Shot Song fic based on the song Lullaby by Nickelback. Gibbs has been through some tough losses in his life but he's always been able to push away his pain by helping the others get through their own. This time is no different...


**Disclaimer- I do not own NCIS or the song Lullaby by Nickelback**

**Warning-Major Character Death and Suicidal Themes**

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was never a person to let his feelings take him over but a man could only take so much loss. When he lost his first wife and daughter he thought there was no way that he could ever feel that pain again. He had been through war zones and had seen friends die but none of those ever came close to that feeling. Then it happened. He let somebody close enough again to get hurt. This time though it wasn't a wife or even one of his longtime friends; it was an employee by the name of Caitlyn Todd.

She was a good agent, one of the best he had ever worked with, even if it was only for a short time. When she had died at the hands of double agent Ari Haswari, he couldn't help but feel as if it was his fault. The guilt ate him alive but eventually he was able to move on, if not for himself but for those who still depended on him. Yet he still vowed to never again let somebody close to him suffer from the same fate as his wife, daughter and agent.

Three years later, Jenny Shepard died. They hadn't been lovers in ten some ought years but when she was murdered his feelings of pain were almost as strong as when he lost his beloved Shannon. Again, he made sure the person responsible was never allowed to hurt another person. Again, he hid away his grief. He had to stay strong for Tony and Ziva who blamed themselves for her death and then focused all his anger on trying to get his team back together. Once it was, relief washed over him. It had to be over. Besides, what God would make him go through any more pain like this?

He was mistaken. Yet another three years later, his mentor, Mike Franks, was murdered only steps from Gibbs' own house. Mike had been with him since his girls' death twenty years earlier and he had never been able to thank the man enough for getting him through that difficult time in his life. Now he was just another name that could be added to ever growing list of people that got close to him and ended up murdered. And again the only thing that got him through it, was knowing that his team needed him.

Another three years came and went but this time there were no deaths. In fact, things had been better than ever. His team was still the most successful in NCIS and they were happy. Still, time had kept moving and they had their fair share of injuries, his own and Ducky's retirement, two marriages and a couple of births.

Jimmy and Breena Palmer were married first, a year or so after Mike's death and had their first child another year after that. They named him Donald Edward after Jimmy's mentor and Breena's father. Then another three years after that they had a little girl named Nora Jennifer after Jimmy's mom and the late director. Everybody was happy for the family.

The real surprise came when, a week after little Donny was born, Abby announced that she decided that she was done hiding from the possibility of having he life that the Palmer's had and that she was getting married. Six months later, Gibb walked Abby down the aisle and gave her away to her overjoyed fiancée. Seeing the two happy and in love made Gibbs happier than he had been in a long time. Those feelings only increased tenfold when their son, Michael Jethro, was born.

Soon after Mike was born, Gibbs retired. He was getting on in age and wasn't able to do the things that he used to be able to. He was slower and his glasses were now a permanent feature on his face. This time though, he stayed in the DC area instead of running off to Mexico, mostly because he wanted to be close by to his second family and so he could watch Michael when his parents were at work.

For three years they did this. Mike would be dropped off in the morning by his father and picked up by Abby at night. Then one day, everything changed. The day started off like every other day. Gibbs spent the day showing Mike how to sand the wood of his latest project. That night Abby came in like always, told Gibbs about the case they had been working on, gave him a kiss on the cheek and left with Mike. That was the last time he had ever seen them.

On their way home, Abby's car was hit by a drunk driver and both mother and son were killed.

Gibbs had been through many losses but he never, until Abby and Michael's deaths had felt the same searing pain he had when Shannon and Kelly died. The only difference was there was nothing he could do this time. The bastard that killed them also died in the crash and he didn't have work to keep his mind off of it. Tony was team leader now and was strong enough to be there to get the team through this.

It wasn't till the morning of the funeral that Gibbs realized there was somebody that needed his help. Someone that Tony probably wouldn't be able to be there for.

He was just on his way out the door when his cell phone rang. "Gibbs" he answered without the usual tone. Now his voice was soft and sounded as he was on the edge of giving up all hope.

"I can't find him." An out of breath voice came from the other end of the line.

"Can't find who, Tony?" he said recognizing the voice of his former senior agent immediately.

"Tim. I went to the house to pick him up but he's not here. His phone and gun are gone too but he's not answering when I try to call him." He said panicked.

Gibbs grabbed his keys and started to jog towards his truck. "I'll go look for him. What about-"he started but Tony cut him off.

"She's with Ziva. And okay. I'm going to check around the Navy Yard." Tony said before hanging up.

Gibbs flipped his phone shut and jumped in his truck. He knew exactly what Tim was thinking because he had been in the same place thirty years ago. He also knew that if he didn't get to him soon, Tim might do something irreversible.

_Well, I know the feeling _

_Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge_

_And there ain't no healing _

_From cutting yourself with the jagged edge_

_I'm telling you that, it's never that bad_

_Take it from someone who's been where you're at_

_Laid out on the floor_

_And you're not sure you can take this anymore_

Gibbs opened his phone and called McGee again even though he knew that the younger man wouldn't answer. He slammed the phone down when it went to voicemail knowing that there was no sense in leaving a message. Gibbs heart was starting to pound. This was one of the few times that he'd actually admitted, even if it was just to himself, that he was scared out of his mind.

_So just give it one more try to a lullaby_

_And turn this up on the radio_

_If you can hear me now_

_I'm reaching out_

_To let you know that you're not alone_

_And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell_

_'Cause I can't get you on the telephone_

_So just close your eyes_

_Oh, honey here comes a lullaby_

_Your very own lullaby_

He wove the truck up and down the streets of DC but there was no sign of Tim anywhere. He'd gotten another call from Tony saying that he hadn't found him. That didn't surprise Gibbs at all, Tim was smart and if he didn't want to be found, NCIS would be the last place he'd go.

Gibbs told Tony that he should go back and get everybody else ready for the funeral. Tony protested and told him that he wasn't going to give up but Gibbs insisted that he could handle it. When Tony got angrier, Gibbs said in no unsure terms that he was the only one that knew what Tim was going through and therefore the only one that could help. Tony finally relented but not before he made Gibbs promise that he was going to bring him back.

Gibbs kept thinking back to the day he was determined to take his own life, right after Shannon and Kelly were murdered. He wasn't able to do it and he hopped that Tim wouldn't be able to either. It's a dark place to be in and it was so easy to let it consume you.

_Please let me take you_

_Out of the darkness and into the light_

_'Cause I have faith in you_

_That you're gonna make it through another night_

_Stop thinking about the easy way out_

_There's no need to go and blow the candle out_

_Because you're not done_

_You're far too young_

_And the best is yet to come_

He kept driving, studying the scenery to make sure that he didn't miss anything. He drove by the river, in the city, by the capital and the Washington Monument and then back into the more residential areas.

It was about an hour after he left his house that he drove into Rock Creek Park. He wound his car through the gravely roads for ten minutes before he finally found him. He was sitting on a tree stump by the water. His back was towards Gibbs but he could tell that Tim was staring intently at something in his hands.

He sighed in relief, knowing that he wasn't too late. Even though he still had to talk Tim out of what he wanted to do, it was better than finding him already dead.

Gibbs crept up behind him. Tim must have heard him coming because he lifted his head up and looked at his former boss. Gibbs had never seen Tim's usually full of life green eyes so void of emotion. He looked completely broken.

_Well, everybody's hit the bottom_

_Everybody's been forgotten_

_When everybody's tired of being alone_

_Yeah, everybody's been abandoned_

_And left a little empty handed_

_So if you're out there barely hanging on..._

"What are you doing here?" Tim asked, his voice broken. He turned back around and looked back at the gun that was pointing at his face.

"Why wouldn't I be here?" Gibbs asked in return.

"I failed." Tim said softly, sounding like a little kid.

"And how's that?" Gibbs questioned.

"I should have been able to protect them. It's my responsibility to keep them safe and I couldn't do it." He explained.

"This is not your fault. Trust me, I've been there. It may feel like it's your fault and that you could have done more but you couldn't have. There was no way you could have saved them." Gibbs told him.

"I'm not as strong as you, Boss. I can't handle it." He said as his hand tightened on the handle of the gun.

"You don't think I never thought about this? 'Cause I did. All of the time." Gibbs told him. "Franks helped me out of it and now I'm going to do the same thing for you. Besides, Katie needs you."

Tim just shook his head. "I'll just end up not being able to protect her either. She'll be better off without me." He insisted.

Gibbs changed positions and knelt in front of Tim, careful not to disturb the gun. "What she needs is he father. I'm not going to be the one to explain to her why her father left her." Gibbs said firmly.

That seemed to crack Tim's resolve and he dropped the gun. Gibbs quickly picked it up and put the safety on before tucking it in to the back of his pants. He then gathered Tim in his arms as he began to cry and let out the anguish he was feeling.

_Just give it one more try to a lullaby_

_And turn this up on the radio_

_If you can hear me now_

_I'm reaching out_

_To let you know that you're not alone_

_And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell_

_'Cause I can't get you on the telephone_

_So just close your eyes_

Tim and Gibbs to the funeral just as it was beginning. Tim automatically went over to where Ziva and Tony were standing and took his one week old daughter into his arms and hugged her close. It was the first time he held her since she was born.

Abby was eight months pregnant when she was killed. Luckily, one of the people who witnessed the accident was a doctor and with the help of the EMT's was able to save the baby before she too died.

Tim was too upset over the loss of his wife and son that he couldn't even look at the baby. Once the hospital was sure that she was in the clear, the baby named Caitlyn Abigail McGee was released into her father's care. Tony and Ziva helped by taking her home with Tim and then stayed because they were afraid that Tim, in his daze, wouldn't hear the baby cry or remember to feed her.

Now McGee held his little girl like it was the only thing keeping him alive. In a lot of ways she was. It wouldn't always be like that but right now she was exactly what Tim needed so that the pain wouldn't consume him.

Just like all the times before, the team and family would move on from the incredible sense of loss. It would take a while but they would all eventually be okay. For now, they had each other to lean on.

Gibbs walked closer to them and kept a close eye on father and daughter. He could hear Tim faintly singing a lullaby to Katie that Gibbs remembered singing to Kelly once when she was sick.

_So just close your eyes_

_Oh, honey here comes a lullaby_

_Your very own lullaby_

_Oh, honey here comes a lullaby_

_Your very own lullaby _

The End.


End file.
